I hate you cancer
Current mood:
depressed
depressed
The last round of chemo kicked my ass. And it was only my second one! Damn. I thought I was a warrior. I thought I was gonna stand up to this thing, put up my dukes and beat the shit out of it. Ha! Guess I'm not as tough as I thought.
First of all, I had to go back to the doctor the day after chemo and for two days after that, to get shots to boost my white blood cells. So, that along with the chemo, took it's toll on this little body of mine. The doctor keeps checking my kidneys and is concerned about the creatinine level being so high. I keep getting bone pains, rashes, insomnia, fatigue, dizzy spells, loss of appetite, my nails are turning purple......oh yeah...loss of my beautiful hair....waaahh... Damn you! I hate you cancer!
I just want to feel normal again. I want to feel strong. But now I worry what's gonna happen next? My next round is tomorrow!!!! And I just started feeling better yesterday! Damn. I know this is the hard part and I'm gonna be a survivor, but.....this is really hard. Now I got to look forward to 5 hours of poison in my veins..... I would never, ever want any of my friends or family to have to experience this chemo shit. It's really, really hard. I'm so gonna do massive shots when I'm done with this drama.
I hate you cancer! You suck!
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