July 27, 2008: It All Starts Tomorrow

It All Starts Tomorrow

Well tomorrow I start chemo. I haven't really been able to sleep, I'm so obsessed with getting this all over with. Lately, I've started wondering if I was making the right choice. There are severe and sometimes permanent side effects. One of them was permanent nerve damage. Another was blindness and organ damage (liver, heart , kidneys..)..so, I obsess about these things too.

Everything has happened so fast. Every time I start to feel afraid, I try to remember how much I want to live. How much I want to beat this thing and live my life. There so much I want to do...I really need to be strong and just do this. But I am afraid. What if it doesn't work? I guess there are times when a person just has to take a leap of faith, right? it all starts tomorrow.