The Benefits of Yoga in Cancer Recovery

Last month I was invited to attend The Serenity Yoga Retreat in Santa Barbara.  The event was sponsored by The Foundation for Living Beauty, an organization that provides free services to help women living with cancer and cancer survivors address the stresses that extend beyond their medical diagnosis. Although I had been practicing yoga for many years, I learned that regular practice brings awareness into the body and can build back the strength and muscle tone that was lost during cancer treatments.

For over two years after surgery, finishing chemo, radiation and being only halfway done with the hormone blockers; I lacked the motivation and strength to restart my yoga practice.  I knew I needed to do something, I had no muscle tone and couldn’t even support myself in the plank position.  What helped me was my discovery of mindfulness meditation.  Through meditation I was able to change my pattern of thinking, “It’s going to be too hard,” “It’s going to hurt,” “The hot flashes will kill me”... And I signed up for a community class.  Being able to get through that encouraged me to move on to classes at yoga studios which helped me improve my asanas and body alignment.  Being more in tune with my body and able to flow with the breath, I gained the confidence to start and maintain my own home practice which I do, every day.

The Yoga instructor, Tari Prinster from Yoga4Cancer at the Yoga retreat, taught us other ways to increase the flow in our lymphatic system.  I knew yoga improved blood flow and helped stretch and strengthen muscles, but I was amazed that it could help fight cancer too.  Many of us survivors worry about recurrence.  Finding natural ways to fight this improves our outlook.  With gentle stretches, along with being mindful of the breath as it moves through the body and opens the chest, it felt as if life was filling the body and pushing out the toxins that were trapped inside: chemo, radiation, medicine...  Simply allowing the energy to flow and say, “Breathing in I am strong, breathing out, I let go” created a new feeling of lightness.

So, if you are recovering from cancer and need to get your body and mind in balance as well as be strong in your “new normal,” try yoga.  Start with a meditation practice to gain insight and awareness of your own thought patterns that block you from moving forward.  Learning mindfulness can connect you to your body and senses helping you to be aware of each breath and movement, clearing out the stress and thought patterns that don’t serve a purpose in the present moment.  For a great and simple home practice DVD I use an old one:  Vinyasa Flow Yoga by Jennifer Tipton.  Better get it now, only 5 left from $19.95.

Check it out:

Click here to order from Amazon.com

A Matter of Taste

July 20, 2013

Ben and Jerry's peanut butter cup ice cream. It was all I could taste while I was on chemo. I couldn't drink tap or spring water; it had a metallic taste. I preferred purified water. I drank gallons of it and still couldn't quench my thirst or get that awful chemo taste out if my mouth. The ice cream cooled the sores in my mouth and throat and gave me the calories I needed, I suppose. 

When mom came to visit she made Sinigang full of spinach. She made Ox tail soup: the marrow was to help increase my blood count so I wouldn't end up in the hospital again. But after she left, it was always back to the ice cream. It was the easiest thing to get, and I didn't have the energy to make a meal. 

On this day I'm at yogurt land with my favorite girls. I put little peanut butter cups on top of my pistachio, coconut, mango and chocolate yogurt piles. I savored each flavor. I enjoyed the mixtures of sweet, tangy and chocolatey goodness. I crunch the peanut butter cups and make them blend with the other flavors already in my mouth. And I taste them all. Enjoying each spoonful and flavor as they make my senses come alive. In this moment, I am happy.

Today this exercise in mindfulness has reminded me of how important it is to enjoy the many flavors of life, and to remember to appreciate them. And Today,  I am grateful, I got my "taste" back.

Hair Today, Gone Yesterday

7-18-13

Brushing my hair. I love the way it feels when the bristles touch my scalp. Running my fingers through the strands, feeling like silk threads. I'm grateful for my hair. How it feels on the back of my neck and on my shoulders.

I remember how it felt to lose it. How cold my head was and how ugly I felt. I remember the tears and how I avoided the mirror. I couldn't touch it. My fingers were numb from the chemo. Each day I lost more and more until it was all gone. I tried ice packs and put on a cap to try to stop it. But lost it all. Who was that person? 

One night I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and scared myself: bald head, sunken eyes, dark circles. Was it a zombie? Was it an intruder? No...it was me. I cried and cried. I lost myself. Who is that person?

But today,  I have hair. Beautiful soft hair that still makes me cry when I brush it. But only because  I remember that girl that lost her hair. She was so sad. Now when i look close I can still see her; there she is, looking right back at me. She is in my eyes. But now she's not afraid. Because she is me, now. 

Today, I am grateful for my hair.

The Pianist: Music, Mindfulness and Compassion

A Lesson in Mindfulness:  Music and Compassion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQk3Zh71dGA

In this scene in “The Pianist”, a German soldier finds Szpilman hiding in an abandoned house. In the far distance the sound of gunfire can be heard.  He asks him what he is doing there and what he does as an occupation.  When he finds out that he is a pianist, he brings him to a room with a piano, and orders him to play.  When he starts to play, the soldier is so overcome by the music, he has to sit.  He then watches in silent awe as he listens to the pianist playing Chopin.

This is my favorite part of the movie and it fills me with so much emotion.  I believe that music connects all of us.  It is a part of the life force we all share.  In that moment, there was no war.  The soldier was connected with the man behind the piano, and they were both sharing the present moment, which was all about the music; a peaceful, beautiful ballad by Chopin.  For that moment, that soldier was a part of something that was bigger than himself, more important than the war that was just right outside; something that reached down deep beneath his ego and awakened his spirit.  He was in the present moment, where nothing else was of any concern, and it had changed him. He became compassionate.  Amidst the chaos, he recognized beauty and compassion.

Mindfulness is a practice that can stop old patterns of thinking or judging situations or people.  It allows for a gap in thinking, in which thoughts are observed, but are not labeled.  It creates a space where time doesn’t matter and only what is happening in the present moment; within the body is all there is.  We all do this in the presence of beauty.  A sunset, a rainbow, clouds and the sound of beautiful music.  It awakens compassion and gratitude.  Instead of dwelling on the chaos that life situations create; or ruminating on the tragedies of the past or hopelessness of the future.  We should all take a moment to “be” in the moment.  Don’t think, don’t wonder, or plan or make judgements.  Listen to the music of life.  Life is nature, life is silence, life is the breath inside you.  Stop and listen.  Just “be.” 

No matter what challenges you are facing on your cancer journey, or whatever worries you may have about what may lie ahead, this is where you are right now.  This moment.  It is the only moment you can ever truly be in.  You’re not in the past where you were diagnosed and went through the treatments and side effects.  You’re not in the future where you envision yourself as being different than you are right now.  You are here.  And this is the only moment that really matters.  Don’t waste it in the delusion of time thinking.  Stop.  Breathe.  Practice gratitude, you are here, now. 

I am NOT my cancer.  Just BE.