What if
If.
What if.
Working hard to prepare for the day "what if" happens.
Looking into my heart, I have found that I neglected to share the love she holds.
Just holding it.
Keeping it safe.
Clinging to it. Because, what if.....
Working hard to prepare for the day "what if" happens.
Looking into my mind I found schedules, appointments, budgets and bills.
Working hard.
Making money for the day "what if" happens.
Just holding it.
Saving it.
Clinging to it. Because, what if....
"What are you waiting for?" she says.
"Well, what if..." is the reply.
"That's crazy" she says. "The 'what if' already happened. You got cancer, and you already got through it remember?"
Heart looks at mind as tears melt from her eyes, holds her close, hugs her tightly and says, "I love you."
"You got this," replies the mind.
A heart, mind dialogue in which I visualized my heart and mind sitting together on a bench on the top of a hill looking over Malibu Canyon towards the ocean. From this dialogue I realized that I hold on to things for fear that I won't be prepared if the cancer comes back. I hold on to love because I don't want to be abandoned "if" I become sick. I worked hard to earn my 3rd degree, now I work several jobs. I save my money because I don't want to be broke and destitute "if" I am too sick to work "if" I get sick again. While I am busy preparing for this imagined "what if," I am missing out on the precious gift of life I was blessed to have a second chance to enjoy.
For now, I am at peace with an open heart and open mind ready to receive whatever the universe has in store for me. Because I have come to realize, once again, I have survived a time in life everyone fears, living with cancer. And yet, I am still here. I made it through that time with the little money I had, with the help of my son by my side, the support of friends and the love and prayers of my family, every step of the way. I did it. I know I could do it again. I've been there. Now I'm here. The "what if" already happened. I GOT this.
Healing HeArt Retreat with The Foundation for Living Beauty, a sisterhood of cancer survivors at the Serra Retreat Center in Malibu, California, April 2014.
What if.
Working hard to prepare for the day "what if" happens.
Looking into my heart, I have found that I neglected to share the love she holds.
Just holding it.
Keeping it safe.
Clinging to it. Because, what if.....
Working hard to prepare for the day "what if" happens.
Looking into my mind I found schedules, appointments, budgets and bills.
Working hard.
Making money for the day "what if" happens.
Just holding it.
Saving it.
Clinging to it. Because, what if....
"What are you waiting for?" she says.
"Well, what if..." is the reply.
"That's crazy" she says. "The 'what if' already happened. You got cancer, and you already got through it remember?"
Heart looks at mind as tears melt from her eyes, holds her close, hugs her tightly and says, "I love you."
"You got this," replies the mind.
A heart, mind dialogue in which I visualized my heart and mind sitting together on a bench on the top of a hill looking over Malibu Canyon towards the ocean. From this dialogue I realized that I hold on to things for fear that I won't be prepared if the cancer comes back. I hold on to love because I don't want to be abandoned "if" I become sick. I worked hard to earn my 3rd degree, now I work several jobs. I save my money because I don't want to be broke and destitute "if" I am too sick to work "if" I get sick again. While I am busy preparing for this imagined "what if," I am missing out on the precious gift of life I was blessed to have a second chance to enjoy.
For now, I am at peace with an open heart and open mind ready to receive whatever the universe has in store for me. Because I have come to realize, once again, I have survived a time in life everyone fears, living with cancer. And yet, I am still here. I made it through that time with the little money I had, with the help of my son by my side, the support of friends and the love and prayers of my family, every step of the way. I did it. I know I could do it again. I've been there. Now I'm here. The "what if" already happened. I GOT this.
Healing HeArt Retreat with The Foundation for Living Beauty, a sisterhood of cancer survivors at the Serra Retreat Center in Malibu, California, April 2014.
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