The Pianist: Music, Mindfulness and Compassion

A Lesson in Mindfulness:  Music and Compassion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQk3Zh71dGA

In this scene in “The Pianist”, a German soldier finds Szpilman hiding in an abandoned house. In the far distance the sound of gunfire can be heard.  He asks him what he is doing there and what he does as an occupation.  When he finds out that he is a pianist, he brings him to a room with a piano, and orders him to play.  When he starts to play, the soldier is so overcome by the music, he has to sit.  He then watches in silent awe as he listens to the pianist playing Chopin.

This is my favorite part of the movie and it fills me with so much emotion.  I believe that music connects all of us.  It is a part of the life force we all share.  In that moment, there was no war.  The soldier was connected with the man behind the piano, and they were both sharing the present moment, which was all about the music; a peaceful, beautiful ballad by Chopin.  For that moment, that soldier was a part of something that was bigger than himself, more important than the war that was just right outside; something that reached down deep beneath his ego and awakened his spirit.  He was in the present moment, where nothing else was of any concern, and it had changed him. He became compassionate.  Amidst the chaos, he recognized beauty and compassion.

Mindfulness is a practice that can stop old patterns of thinking or judging situations or people.  It allows for a gap in thinking, in which thoughts are observed, but are not labeled.  It creates a space where time doesn’t matter and only what is happening in the present moment; within the body is all there is.  We all do this in the presence of beauty.  A sunset, a rainbow, clouds and the sound of beautiful music.  It awakens compassion and gratitude.  Instead of dwelling on the chaos that life situations create; or ruminating on the tragedies of the past or hopelessness of the future.  We should all take a moment to “be” in the moment.  Don’t think, don’t wonder, or plan or make judgements.  Listen to the music of life.  Life is nature, life is silence, life is the breath inside you.  Stop and listen.  Just “be.” 

No matter what challenges you are facing on your cancer journey, or whatever worries you may have about what may lie ahead, this is where you are right now.  This moment.  It is the only moment you can ever truly be in.  You’re not in the past where you were diagnosed and went through the treatments and side effects.  You’re not in the future where you envision yourself as being different than you are right now.  You are here.  And this is the only moment that really matters.  Don’t waste it in the delusion of time thinking.  Stop.  Breathe.  Practice gratitude, you are here, now. 

I am NOT my cancer.  Just BE.

Another Year Around the Sun

Today is my 48th birthday.  I had to keep doing the math because I sure don’t feel like I’m that old.  When I look back at my life all I can remember doing was being a wife and a mom.  Right after high school I got married and started my family.  I didn’t have a career until after my kids were grown and I was separated after 14 years of marriage. All knew how to be was a mother.

Well, 2 years ago (2 years after my cancer diagnosis) my adult son moved out on his own.  He had finished college, had an excellent job and it was time for him to leave the nest.  To me, it was too early.  I had just finished my cancer treatments and was starting to feel more like myself; But still...it was too early, for me.  He was the baby, the last one at home.  I was single.  Who was I going to take of?  Who was going to take care of me?  If all I knew how to be was a mom, then what was I going to do with him gone?  I couldn’t hold him back, I knew I was in for a tough time.  I had to let him go, because it was the right thing to do.  Now all that I had left, was myself.  What did I like to do before I was a mom?  Well, that would be impossible to revisit since it definitely was more than 26 years!  So then the question had to be:  What do I want to do with my life...now?

When we face transition challenges, we struggle to find aspects of what we used to enjoy or how we used to be because it is our anchor.  It reminds us that even though this big change is happening, I’m still the same person on the inside.  So we begin by shedding the layers of who we’re not, and reach deeper into ourselves to find the person we were before (before being a mom, before having cancer) and because it’s familiar, that’s what we strive to become (again). It serves as a comfort for a person facing a transition in life.  When there is a change and the outcome is unknown, it can produce tremendous anxiety.  Some stay trapped, because if it’s all you knew how to be, what else is there?  What’s left of you when the kids are gone, or when the cancer is gone?  Well, it’s you that’s left.  Everything you had become was a result of growth.  Now, is just another time to grow.

Today I'm 48 and 4 years Cancer Free

Well, today’s my birthday, and I’m still cancer free and I still have an empty nest.  It’s been a series of adjustments, but I’m moving forward, learning and growing every day.  Someday’s are tougher, someday’s are bliss.  The way I look at it, as each day goes by, the farther I get away from the past.  The past is what I was, I am not that person anymore.  Everything changes, it’s inevitable.  Nothing ever stays the same, it’s just not possible.  Just move on, don’t look back, you’re not going that way.